Royal Wedding...Dress Rehearsal for Prince William & Kate! Fancy fruit cake, please!


They say:

“Life is not a dress rehearsal.”

However, there are specific occasions when dazzling overwhelming high-profile events require them.

So, that is why there was a big turn-out across the big pond in London yesterday, two days before the Royal Wedding of this - or any century for that matter - revs up!

In anticipation of the much-ballyhooed union of two star-crossed lovers – starring Prince William and Kate Middleton front-row-and center at Westminster Abbey – Queen E2 and her handlers (and a large contingent of Windsors and Middletons) purred around the bustling downtown streets in luxury limos (to essentially trot the gauntlet along the route of the wedding motorcade) to ensure that the Royals get it "just right" tomorrow when the future King of England ties-the-knot with his pretty love (kiss-me-Kate).

Abba, Elton John and his boy-toy - and a posse of others - will have to get to the church in their own sweet time without much help from Officials at Buckingham Palace on the other hand.

Meanwhile - Tony Blair, President Obama, and the Duchess of Pork – um - York - need not fight the crush of traffic since the trio of high-profile personalities won't be attending.


All snubbed.

Will there be any missed cues or late entrances?

While the blushing bride is expected to utter up - "I Do" - don't expect Kate to gush that she'll "obey".

According to insider scuttlebutt, the future Princess exercised her right to editorial control, alright.

On the sidelines, Dave Letterman and Jay Leno are expected to toss a jibe or two on their highly-rated talk shows Friday night, in the aftermath of the media bonanza.

Especially when it comes to the official wedding cake.

Although the spokesperson for the Royals took great pains to characterize the frothy-looking multi-tiered cake as a rich delicious treat waiting to be served up with a lot of "wow" factor at the chi-chi after-party, the truth of the matter?

The crown jewel of pastries is basically a fruit cake, all tarted up, nothing more nothing less!

However, for the kiddies (the younger hipper set with a sweet tooth or two not inclined to hanker to tradition, gee whiz), there will be a tasty chocolate crisp yummy sure to go down smoothly with a dash of milk, chilled bubbly, even a brewskie!

At press time, roving reporters were still hovering the crowded terrain at a fever pitch, still anxious to get first dibbs on a publicity still sure to nab millions!

A shot of Kate's designer frock to be worn to Westminster Abbey for the ultra-tony social event of the year would be a mighty coup for any self-respecting paparazzi worth his weight to snap up.

Bet your sweet bippy, that even if the pricey gown doesn't make an entrance early on the world stage - that within minutes of the breathtaking reveal - trendy rip-off designers in the rag-trade will be rustling up cheap knock-offs to flog to commoners anxious to don for their own romantic day of wedded (eternal?) bliss.

News at 11!

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